New Fitness Goals AGAIN

Posted on April 3rd, 2010

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I’ve been trying to lose weight, with some temporary successes, but overall unsuccessfully, for years. Many many years. Well, then again I suppose it depends on your definition of trying. Trying, to some (and by some I mean lazy fatties like me) can sometimes mean wanting to lose weight… feeling guilty about eating too much… and wishing that I was thinner.

There are times, however, that I’ve genuinely tried. I’ve actively set goals (and failed them) and have put programs and activities in place that, had I not been tempted by the devil (feel free to substitute “the devil” with any number of evil things, such as “the donut”, “the couch”, “the all-you-can-eat Vegas buffet”) I would have eventually been successful with. Alas… the devil has always won. Or rather… I have always found the devil more enticing than having a Spartan body (yes, with painted abs a la 300). You see… having a Spartan body would be great for when I’m climbing in slow-motion from the pool at a party or when I’m competing in a flexing contest… but donuts taste good right now. And so I eat them. (actually I must confess I’m blaming a lot on donuts and I rarely eat them, but the word is admittedly funny so I type and type it!)

DISCLAIMER: yes, all these images are ridiculous

When I was a kid I was average sized:
Kid Vu

When I became a teenager I was chubby:
Farmer Vu

When I was 15 I was sent to Vietnam for 2 years to learn “my roots” (on my father’s side) and got malaria and lost a ton of weight and became fairly thin:
Lan and Vu in Vietnam

By the time I was 18 I was back to getting chubby:
Uncool Vu

And once I hit 20 I surpassed 200 lbs… a weight I would not see again for many years:
Finally Fat Vu

At the height of my fatdom I was 230 lbs. That’s a lot for a 5’9″ tall guy (I used to claim to be 5’10″ but really it’s like 5’9.5″ and I’ve decided to be more humble in life). I thankfully don’t actually have an image from that time… but I do have this one which was probably over 220 AND shows the dumb hair I had for a few months. Perhaps at the time I thought the blonde hair and giant black eyebrows would distract people from seeing my belly.

WTF Vu

So… 2009 arrives. I’m fed up. I’ve always been on-and-off active… having played a heck of a lot of beach volleyball from 18 to 23 or so… then finding mountain biking and other outdoor activities… but I’ve never really stuck with anything. One thing I’ve ALWAYS hated was running. Ugh. Just thinking about running makes me angry. I’m angry that I’ve ever had to run in my life for any reason whatsoever, and I’m angry that I know that I will have to run in the future, for a variety of reasons (hopefully never for my life, but you never know… I DO live very dangerously).

Wait, where was I? I tend to get off topic pretty easily. Oh yeah, 2009. So in 2009 my dear friend Ryel bought me a pair of running shoes as a gift for some workflow and other help I’ve given her… and I buy a Nike+ sensor. It works perfectly with my iPhone 3GS (built in communication and app) and I now have no reason not to run. Ok, actually I have my bad knees which have bothered me since I was a teenager… but the honest truth (as opposed to the dishonest truth) was that they had seemed ok for the past couple years and I was determined to at least put them to the test. When I say I hate running though… I mean I HATE running. Every step I take while running is another step I hate. I literally think the ENTIRE time, each time I run, of all the excuses I can find to stop running. Almost every second. Sometimes I even think of ways I could allow my ankle to sprain or maybe just trip and fall and scrape my knee… something enough to give me a good excuse to stop. So when I run… and when anyone sees that I’ve run like 5 miles… they actually have no idea what an accomplishment that really is… because I REALLY HATE running!

But I ran. I ran a total of 38 miles. Over the course of 2 months (that’s a LOT for me, probably the most ever). Along with that I also decided to cut my daily caloric intake down to 1,000 calories (plus any exercise I did that day… so if I ran off 400 calories I would eat 1,400 calories that day). Extreme? Yes. But I wanted results and I was tired of not getting them. I was 215 lbs when I started and I just wanted to look and feel good by November. In just over 2 months I lost 25 lbs. Yup, one morning I actually weighed in at 188 lbs. It was the lightest I had been since I was 19. Wow. Momentous, right?

Unfortunately I didn’t think so. I felt like I had done a lot of work but I didn’t realize how awesome an accomplishment I’d really achieved. I wanted to continue but I went on vacation and stopped the dieting and stopped the running all at once… and didn’t start them up again. I regained 15 of the 25 lbs I lost over the course of 4 months… and that’s where I am right now. 205 lbs. Hello again, fatso.

Ugh. 205 lbs. I look at images I took just months ago when I was under 190 and they make me SO regretful that I didn’t just keep it up. Here’s my favorite. Yup, that’s me in a pose that normally would show wonderful curvy love handles with the way the wind is blowing my shirt in… but there are none! Ok they’re there but they are manageable. They’re close to being gone.

@VuBui showing @RoxanneDarling the shot image of Roxanne Darling and myself by Shane Robinson

A New Beginning. Again.

So… I want that again. I want that and more. I want 175 lbs. That’s not too thin for my height and age. That would actually not be that thin at all, just a hell of a lot more thin than I am right now. And it’s not just about LOOKING thin (and wearing a Spartan Halloween costume). It’s about FEELING good and healthy. I really enjoyed being lighter on my feet, I enjoyed being able to run up a flight of stairs with the slightest of effort. I just wish my insecurities about my body and weight had caught up with the rest of my good feelings… I might have realized how far I’d come and be less likely to keep it off. Unfortunately I still felt like a fatass… and so I let myself become one again.

I’m going back on the 1,100 a day calorie plan (plus exercise). I’m trying to run a consistent 15 miles a week plus calisthenic workouts in between runs. I’m also looking for someone to barter a headshot session for a road bike (blog post about this coming soon). I’m going to post some of my results to this blog. Probably at least my weekly calorie intake. My runs go to Twitter. My calisthenic workouts I think will show up on my calorie chart (it’s all in the amazing Lose It iPhone app). And once I get that bike those results will be posted too.

Do you think I can do it? I sure could use people giving me a hard time about NOT keeping up with my goals. I’ll come up with some actual dates soon, once I figure out exactly what I want to do… but I’m totally open to suggestions, criticisms, name-calling and encouragement (in no particular order). I have Lydia (who is surprisingly an AMAZING motivator) but no offense to her… I would love some more.

These are some of the stats from today’s blog post on 750words.com, click the image to see all the stats:

rosaurasandoval

You can do it! I've gone through the same sort of thing. Before having a baby, right after having a baby and now 2 years out from having a baby I'm the heaviest I've been. I started watching my portion size and I'm gonna start running Tuesday. I have a bad knee (torn meniscus) but learned to run using ChiRunning. Check it out. Good luck! I'm rooting for you! :)
Rachel

Hey Vu,

Good luck! I recently took up running and am starting slow and entered into a 5k run in a marathon and will work up to the 10k, half, then full (eventually!) I am not enjoying running either. I am hoping that now that it's finally getting nicer here to run outside it may be better, but I have it in my head that it's not going to be better! I also feel that I've chunked out and need to get that under control. I used to be able to eat ANYTHING! Even though I don't want to eat anything I want anymore (I definitely eat MUCH healthier), my goal is to work out enough that I can still eat the foods I love that I refuse to give up (pizza, double stuff oreos!) in moderation of course! My other problem is that I usually eat dinner LATE late late at night when I am done with work. I don't want to eat so late, but I cannot go to bed hungry. Anyway, I will try and remember to send you some positive words and if you think of it, you can do the same! Yeah, I definitely thought I might enjoy running, but so far, I just can't get into it. I still have a goal of wanting to finish a marathon someday, though. And if it makes you feel any better, I have read your posts about how far you had ran and I think it has motivated me! So there's a positive… and you look great! Again, good luck!
-Rachel (from N.D.)
http://vubui.com Vu Bui

Hmmm I've never heard of Chi Running, that sounds interesting.

Good luck to you too! :)
http://vubui.com Vu Bui

Yeah the eating late problem sucks. I do the same often. But the worst is WHAT I eat. We'll see if I can keep things under control. I hope so!

Running helps in ONE way. It makes me less likely to overeat because I don't want to undo all the hard work. If I'm going to spend hours a week doing something I absolutely hate, I want there to be some reward… and eating up all that I've burned ruins that!

Hurray for the marathon! I want to do one, too. I guess we'll see! :)
Joyce Kuklis

This is a great blog post and thanks so much for sharing such personal details about your weight! I find it inspiring because I can relate to it on just about every level. i'm also at the point where I'm tired of being a Fatty McFatPants and have decided to make some changes (as soon as I get back from mexico where the food is nothing but blissful). I also used to be thinner. I worked hard for it, and for some reason even when I was almost thin, I thought I was huge. I got discouraged and let myself go. Maybe we should take a picture of ourselves in swimwear and photoshop our bodies into the figures we wish to attain. That way we have a visual goal to work toward haha. It sounds ricidulous but if it means feeling good and staying motivated, nothing can be too absurd. You can print it out and put it on the fridge to help you think twice before reaching for the “donut”. haha I dont know if this was inspiring or encouraging. I not sure if I can offer a lot in that sense because we're paddling the same fatass boat to Flubber Island. But I am right there with you, and you can expect me to email you regularly to hold you accountable to your newfound efforts! I'm sure you can do it. Fatter people have done it. Lazier people have done it. Now its our turn to do it! Its time to turn the flabs into abs! :)
http://www.apushylittlebroad.com/ Mollye

Once you get a road bike, hit me up. Most of my cyclist friends are super in shape over achievers, so it'd be good to ride with a normal human being. You *sir* took my quintessential fat picture. About 3 years ago, I was miserable and overweight (mostly just miserable which probably lead to the latter.) After a few years of doing some triathlons, being more active, and generally loving life more, I'm lighter — but more importantly — just healthier and happier. Good luck.
http://www.vvision-photography.com/ Val

Pictures are funny…and i dont think you look fat in any of them…you are obsessing about nothing…silly.Eat healthy, but dont stress out how much you weight. I would never think you are worried about your weight. Its all about confidence.
http://vubui.com Vu Bui

I genuinely like the idea of PSing our fatness down to skinny bodies for a visual goal. Or maybe I'll just put my head on someone else's body and work towards that impossibility.

Let's do this! :P
http://vubui.com Vu Bui

Hey, it may have been your fat picture… but it was a really good looking fat picture! :P

Ok once I get that road bike… you're on.
http://vubui.com Vu Bui

Thanks Val! Unfortunately there are many things you can be confident with. I am confident in many aspects of myself… but my physical appearance isn't one of them.

I had hoped that I'd have gained confidence when I lost all that weight last year, but there were other issues at work and as dumb as it sounds I just still felt like a fatty.

Soon, Val… soon.
http://www.cathydavidphoto.com/blog David

WOW. And here I thought I was the only one that went through the giant black eyebrows and bleach blonde hair faze. Glad I'm not the only one. We're on the healthy track to. Perhaps we can compare lost guts at WPPI next year. ;) Cathy and I are doing Power 90 (the thing you do before P90X). If you need any support we're always here for ya man! Go for it! :D

PS: Bobbi and Mike are doing their second Healthy Train. You should join in with us! It starts April 16th!
http://projectpedal.com amanda

i was totally going to say you should go biking with mollye and i, then she beat me to it :P i just fixed my bike tire, and i've been bugging mollye to get some pedals on her bike so that we can go out and explore! i'm totally up for this whenever you two are :)

and good luck with everything else Vu. i know how you feel. i used to be in fantastic shape, and exercised all the time. over the past few years i had to stop because of my back and have lost so much muscle and over all i just feel like crap. now that my back is doing better i'm really anxious to get back into shape! :)
erincampbellsbug

Vu!! Fantastic! I had no idea someone could hate running as much as me! Best of luck to you. You can do it. You've done it before. This time you will be fit for life!
http://vubui.com Vu Bui

Well you just send me someone who has a bike they don't need, but wants professional headshots. I guess I should really put that blog post together… and maybe a craigslist ad.

Thanks for the support… we'll go biking soon!
http://vubui.com Vu Bui

Dude Lydia (lydiashannon.com) is doing P90X with her husband… I'm impressed to say the least. I've looked at it… it's a KILLER workout. I'm guessing Power 90 is no walk in the park either!

What is this healthy train? I guess I'll look into it.
http://vubui.com Vu Bui

Yes, I forgot to mention that… staying fit FOR LIFE is absolutely the key. Losing weight last year was really hard… but obviously it was a lot harder to actually keep it off.

For that I'll need an entire lifestyle change!
http://www.feuzareis.com/ Feuza

hey it is a struggle for me too, I need to loose just 15 pounds but feels like its 60 or something, I love Mark HAyes and follow his journey after attending Danes Fast track Roadshow and learning about what needs to happen for change to happen, I say I am dissatisfied but am I really? if I was, I would be doings something about it, brave of you to post it on here and have some stakeholders to help you out
BTW I loathe running, always failed the mile run in highschool cause I break out in hives doing it
http://vubui.com Vu Bui

15 lbs doesn't sound like much but that's basically around 50,000 calories that you need to burn off. No easy task!

I've found that keeping track of every calorie you eat, every day, even when you cheat and eat too much makes a HUGE difference. You can't hide from real numbers!

I'm learning that I'm not at ALL alone in my hatred for running, though, and I love that! :)
http://vubui.com Vu Bui

15 lbs doesn't sound like much but that's basically around 50,000 calories that you need to burn off. No easy task!

I've found that keeping track of every calorie you eat, every day, even when you cheat and eat too much makes a HUGE difference. You can't hide from real numbers!

I'm learning that I'm not at ALL alone in my hatred for running, though, and I love that! :)
http://www.jackratana.com/blog JACKR

Good luck buddy, looking great! excited for you.
http://christinetremoulet.com/ Christine

I think you need to eat a lot more than 1100 calories a day. That isn't a realistic amount of food to eat, and while you may lose it fast you will gain it all back pretty fast too. Take it from someone that has dieted off and on for 25+ years.

Lose weight slower – 5-7 lbs a month – and it is much more likely to stay off. Also, you'll get used to a diet you can sustain. Mike hesitantly joined me doing WeightWatchers online a few months ago, but he has lost 20-25lb since the first of the year, and that was with diet modifications alone. He is learning to make healthier choices too, which will help him sustain the loss over the long haul.

You can do it! I believe in you. I know you can. Wanting to do it is such an important step! Cheering you on!!!
http://vubui.com Vu Bui

Thanks, man.
http://vubui.com Vu Bui

I totally know that you're right… and I know that I'm taking it a little too extreme… but I have a ridiculous personality that loves all or none… if it's not really hard I just won't even bother. I totally take you seriously and know that you actually know what you're talking about… I'm not thinking that I'm right… but I also know what it's going to take to get me to really do this. So… forgive me! :)

I'm going to do this for a little while (just 2-3 months) then change it up entirely. The truth is that I rarely only eat 1,100 calories because most days I work out so I get to add those calories. ;) Although today I admittedly only ate 1,113 calories even though I exercised 195 calories… so technically I've eaten too little even for my dumb program.

The little food I DO eat is fairly healthy though. Mostly chicken and vegetables. I take a daily multi-vitamin and additional vitamin-C. If you compare my current 1,100 calories per day of chicken and veggies and vitamins with my previous 3,500 calories per day of fast food… I think that I'm actually giving my body more to work with now!

If I die, I will totally apologize for not listening though. ;)

Thank you so much though Christine for the support and advice! But mostly for the cheering!
susanjustice

Hey Vu, I'm right there with you except…. I gained probably over 100. Like you, I never realized how far I really had come and how healthy and fit I was at the time and I just gave up for no particular reason! I really admire that you are putting this out there and it gives me more encouragement to do the same… perhaps very soon! You are going to do awesome! I can sense the determination in your words. Do this, read the book “a body for life” it will change you! I'm telling you and give you that extra encouragement and know how!
http://vubui.com Vu Bui

Yeah, it's so easy to feel fat even when your body is starting to get skinny. It's not easy to always realize how far you've come!

Thanks for the encouragement and for sharing your experience!
susanjustice

I was talking with lydia about it tonight… it's about to be on! lol, we resisted a food devil tonight! Keep up the great work and stay encouraged, your going to do GREAT!
Amy

I am proud of you Vu! At the beginning of the year I decided to give up sugar for 4 months….but I only made it 2 weeks, felt like a total failure and it's annoyed me ever since. Trust me when I say I know how hard it is to stick to these things. I think the important thing is to keep getting back up. Better something than nothing. I know you've inspired me to revisit my sugar addiction again.
http://vubui.com Vu Bui

Amy!!! How's it coming? Are you back on the sugar restriction? How strict are you trying to be? When you say no sugar… do you mean no high sugar foods or literally nothing with sugar in it? What about high fructose corn syrup? That sounds absolutely difficult, but I'm sure you can do it if you try again.

I've lost 8 lbs so far and although last week I strayed thanks to Vegas and the evil that exists there… I'm back home and back on track! Updates to come soon-ish.
Guest

What’s up with your 750 words? 1289? Come on…you can do better than that.
Guest

What's up with your 750 words? 1289? Come on…you can do better than that.
bvp663

I hated running until I bought a pair of Vibram Five Finger shoes. For some reason, that changed it for me. Suddenly, running was something I wanted to do. Whenever I put on running shoes it would always feel like a chore, like I was lacing up for some horrible obligation I had made to myself. Now it’s more of a “I’m just going to go run around barefoot and side step off curbs and jump over rocks and twigs in the park.

It’s been a year since then and I’m almost ready to call myself a “runner”. I signed up for my first marathon (Carlsbad Marathon) this year and now that I’ve paid my fee and have a goal there’s no going back.

Anyways, that’s my story of how I turned from a person who despised running to someone who actually kinda likes it now.